Dad Has to Have That Talk With His 10 Year Old Daughter.

It started out innocently enough. I was folding laundry in my bedroom when my daughter walked in. Always the helpful girl, she asked me, “Dad, when is the next time you’re going to change the sheets on the bed?” Ah, out of the mouths of babes…

Well, in reality, the reason she asked me that question was because we have a game that we have played since she was a much younger than 10 year old daughter. It involves throwing the numerous pillows on Mom & Dad’s bed back and forth and basically all over the room as I put a fresh new pillow case on each one. Today was no different. She just wanted to know when her next opportunity to carelessly throw pillows with reckless abandon was going to arrive.

But, I had a different thought.

Just for fun, my reply to her query went something like this, “I just have too much money. I’m rolling in it. I think I’ll hire someone to change the sheets on my bed.”

“Really?” she replied. “Then I want a raise.”

I can’t tell you how many different thoughts and emotions washed over me at once. I was proud first. Good job, I thought. Most people go through their lives trying to work up the courage to ask their boss for a raise, and here, my daughter has done it with her allowance. Then I wondered about the whole entitlement mentality. What does this girl do to earn her allowance? Well, she actually does a lot  more than her three brothers, and I’ve always kind of considered allowance as not so much earned income, but “I know you can’t legally work at that age so where else are you going to get money and learn how to manage it” income. Plus, in theory, contributing to household chores is just part of being in a family and learning responsible behavior.

But I digress. And, so did she.

Almost as soon as the phrase had left her mouth, she acted as if she wanted to snatch it back and swallow it, like it never happened. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean it," she said.

Hmmm. What was at play here? "Don't be sorry," I groaned.

So here is how this little episode played out. I did have that talk with my daughter. I explained why it was a good thing to ask for a raise in this situation and many others. Asking for a raise shows confidence and also shows that the one asking believes they are worth it. I also explained to my daughter that she needed to be ready to justify her request, which she proceeded to do with aplomb! She explained how she goes above and beyond at home and at school. How she always has straight A's. How she does the things at home that she is supposed to do without being asked. How she makes sure that everything that needs to be, is taken care of. How does she do this? She asks.

She does deserve a raise. And she is going to get one.

The next talk I have with my ten year old daughter will probably address networking. Is ten too young to have a LinkedIn account? I'll have to look into that. 

In the mean time, the Berkies are in Omaha this weekend and Warren has been focusing quite a bit of attention on women making their marks in the boardrooms of America's largest companies: http://money.cnn.com/2013/05/02/leadership/warren-buffett-women.pr.fortune/index.html 

Maybe Warren should be the first person in my daughter's network.