Dad Has to Have That Talk With His 10 Year Old Daughter.

It started out innocently enough. I was folding laundry in my bedroom when my daughter walked in. Always the helpful girl, she asked me, “Dad, when is the next time you’re going to change the sheets on the bed?” Ah, out of the mouths of babes…

Well, in reality, the reason she asked me that question was because we have a game that we have played since she was a much younger than 10 year old daughter. It involves throwing the numerous pillows on Mom & Dad’s bed back and forth and basically all over the room as I put a fresh new pillow case on each one. Today was no different. She just wanted to know when her next opportunity to carelessly throw pillows with reckless abandon was going to arrive.

But, I had a different thought.

Just for fun, my reply to her query went something like this, “I just have too much money. I’m rolling in it. I think I’ll hire someone to change the sheets on my bed.”

“Really?” she replied. “Then I want a raise.”

I can’t tell you how many different thoughts and emotions washed over me at once. I was proud first. Good job, I thought. Most people go through their lives trying to work up the courage to ask their boss for a raise, and here, my daughter has done it with her allowance. Then I wondered about the whole entitlement mentality. What does this girl do to earn her allowance? Well, she actually does a lot  more than her three brothers, and I’ve always kind of considered allowance as not so much earned income, but “I know you can’t legally work at that age so where else are you going to get money and learn how to manage it” income. Plus, in theory, contributing to household chores is just part of being in a family and learning responsible behavior.

But I digress. And, so did she.

Almost as soon as the phrase had left her mouth, she acted as if she wanted to snatch it back and swallow it, like it never happened. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean it," she said.

Hmmm. What was at play here? "Don't be sorry," I groaned.

So here is how this little episode played out. I did have that talk with my daughter. I explained why it was a good thing to ask for a raise in this situation and many others. Asking for a raise shows confidence and also shows that the one asking believes they are worth it. I also explained to my daughter that she needed to be ready to justify her request, which she proceeded to do with aplomb! She explained how she goes above and beyond at home and at school. How she always has straight A's. How she does the things at home that she is supposed to do without being asked. How she makes sure that everything that needs to be, is taken care of. How does she do this? She asks.

She does deserve a raise. And she is going to get one.

The next talk I have with my ten year old daughter will probably address networking. Is ten too young to have a LinkedIn account? I'll have to look into that. 

In the mean time, the Berkies are in Omaha this weekend and Warren has been focusing quite a bit of attention on women making their marks in the boardrooms of America's largest companies: http://money.cnn.com/2013/05/02/leadership/warren-buffett-women.pr.fortune/index.html 

Maybe Warren should be the first person in my daughter's network.

Use It or Lose It; Do You Use It Enough?

I was just reading an article reprinted in the San Jose Mercury News on 04/29/13, by David Paul Morris from Bloomberg, about LinkedIn. The gist of this article was that, while other Social Media sites such as Facebook, have been struggling as of late, LinkedIn has seen it’s revenue, profit and share price blow up to the tune of 80% in 2012. That is envious performance in any economic climate.

What struck me as the oddest thing about this article was this little gem of information buried in the very last paragraph: “Unlike Facebook or Twitter, many people don’t see a need to visit LinkedIn every day.”

Wow.

Let me try to glom on to what the message is here. Stories about, and pictures of my kitty are, without a doubt, more essential to my continued well being than anything that could possibly happen by visiting LinkedIn on a daily basis. Is that it? Because that’s what I’m glomming.

Well, well, well. Isn't that special. 

Just a thought, maybe LinkedIn, among other professional networking tactics, could add value to you! What do you stand to gain or lose on Facebook or Twitter? Friends? Social standing? Farmville points? Possibly.

What might not happen as a result of your interaction with Facebook or Twitter? 

Might you miss or lose a job opportunity because of the casual nature of these sites? (Don't get me wrong, I loves me some Facebook and Twitter in the proper context. In fact, I visit both of these sites multiple times, daily.) But, consider this: It is a fact that, not just one or two, not just one or two hundred, not even just one or two thousand people have disqualified themselves from consideration for employment because of their self-representation on social networking sites.

The power of social networking is indisputable. The advantages gained from social connections, even online connections, are well documented. But, would you use a bull to build a paper airplane? Would you try to convince someone of your value or values with a picture of this?

K.

Networking is a tool that existed long before the advent of computers. It's purpose was to establish mutually beneficial connections, be they business or social. Traditionally, networking as an art has been relegated to the business world, and there are many who have taken their own networking skills to that level. They have become networking artists. Here is one that might not be the first to pop into your head. How about Benjamin Franklin?

What attributes made him a great networker in the past? Here are a few:

• the ability to make diverse connections

• able to adjust to life’s continuous fluctuations

• a natural curiosity and creativity

• disciplined

• a “can-do” attitude and champion of causes

• a desire to learn and grow continuously

• innovative

Sharpen  your pencil, pick your font, create your palette, and click your heels because, even though we might not be in Kansas anymore, we really, kind of, are. It turns out, as much as things have changed, they have also stayed the same. Here is the biggest game changer, difference maker, water into winer, transmorgrfier: Visit a site like LinkedIn maybe 1/3 as often as you visit Facebook every day. Just do it every day. Observe. See what other members are doing to expand their brand. If you don't visit Facebook every day, then visit a site like LinkedIn 3 or 4 times as often as you visit any other social networking site. If you don't visit social networking sites, then you are probably not reading this.

All you have to lose is your job, your dignity and your reputation. Oh, wait. That was on Facebook.

Expect2Connect: Your First Steps Into Professional Networking and How LinkedIn Can Hold Your Hand

I don’t know I’m right, but personal experience says I might be. Almost any experience a person might have in life will present them with two primary options. Give or take. While the gut reaction for most of us might be to take when we can, I believe that the truly selfish person will choose to give, every time. Here is why: The person who chooses to take whenever life gives them that opportunity will almost surely find that those opportunities begin to diminish, slowly, but surely. Thus, they are not being selfish, but stupid, by robbing themselves of the opportunity to continue to receive. All their taking means that those who are giving will eventually stop.

The selfish person, on the other hand, will choose to give at every opportunity, and they will do so expecting exactly nothing in return. By choosing this path, they will become the recipient of unlimited goodwill from others. As long as they continue to give, expecting nothing in return, they will receive more in the form of goodwill,(i.e. referrals, career advancement, loyal friendship, opportunities so numerous they may have a hard time choosing which ones to pursue, peace of mind, fullness of heart, smiles from those they approach, open arms, a passport to anywhere because they are always welcome, the list goes on…,) than they can handle. Not too shabby, eh?

It’s one of those weird paradoxes we get to face every day. Sometimes it just depends on how you look at it, your perspective. I love being selfish,(not to be confused with crab or lobster, those are shellfish.) And since I don’t expect anything, everything that comes is a pleasant surprise. So, the next time you log on to LinkedIn, send me an invitation to connect. Go through my connections. See if there is anyone you know or would like to know. If so, I’ll be happy to make that connection for you, just ask. If not, see if anybody does something that interests you and then look for connections within your own existing personal or professional network that share those qualities or characteristics. Invite them to join YOUR LinkedIn network and see what you can do for them. Pay it forward.

Let me know what I can do for you. Anytime! This is my offer to help.

I know help is kind of a vague term. It means different things to different people. The only way to find out is to ask. Next time you run into a friend or associate that is totally not expecting it, try saying, ”Hey, what can I do for you today?, instead of hi or what’s up. It will probably catch them off guard. It might even weird them out. But if you mean it, just say so. Something like, “I’m just trying an experiment. I know everybody wants something they don’t have and I’m checking to see if I can help someone get what they’re after.” It could be something as obscure as someone wanting a puppy and you happen to have a friend that needs to give some puppies away. It could be you knowing that a position just became available where you work and you come across someone looking for a job.

The possibilities are endless.

LinkedIn is a tool to expand your personal network. It may help you in your current career, it may help you if you decide to move in a different direction with your life. The connections you make, the people that you offer to help, have the potential to remain connected to you throughout your life. Wherever you go, whatever you do. As long as you continue to grow that network by LinkedIn, face to face, email, whatever works for you, and as long as you continue to offer your help to any and all of your connections, you can touch and be touched by, literally, hundreds of thousands of people. It all starts with one. 

Before you make/made your first connection on LinkedIn, how many people do you think you had in your personal or professional network? Now, when you log on to LinkedIn, go to the LinkedIn home page, scroll down a bit, and on the right hand side you will see something that says, “Your LinkedIn Network.” It shows how many connections you have and it also shows you how many new people are in your network as of a particular date. What is that number for you? Does it surprise you? Did you ever suspect that the degree of separation between you and all of these people was even smaller than the degree of separation between you and Kevin Bacon?

I must add that I have no personal connection to LinkedIn. I am not a spokesperson, nor am I affiliated in any way. However, I love tools which can make connecting easier. We, as humans, long to be connected to something, someone, or both. Making that process simpler, simply works for me. Most importantly, I hope it works for you!

Stop by http://www.expect2connect.com